What are we going to do with you?
by Skyflapple
Summary: My entry for Round 3 of the QLFC Season 4. Tonks plays a practical joke on the Slytherins...
This is my Round 3 Entry for Season 4 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. My prompt this round was to write a story containing the word "catapult(s)". I had the word limit of 1,201 - 1,500 words. My word count (not including the author's note) was 1,287 words.

* * *

"Epoximise!"

Nothing happened.

The sixth-year girl in the corner of the Hufflepuff common room gave a cry of frustration and prodded the strange contraption in front of her that vaguely resembled a catapult with her wand. Suddenly, the two beams of wood that she had been trying to stick together glowed silver, and and attached themselves to each other.

"The Slytherins won't know what's hit them!" Nymphadora Tonks whispered to herself, before shrinking the bizarre machine to the size of a pebble and slipping it into a pocket in her robes.

* * *

"Miss Tonks! Miss Tonks!"

Dora was jerked out of her daydreams by the angry voice of Professor Sprout and the sound of smashing glass. She had been so lost in imagining the looks on the Slytherins' faces at dinner that evening, that she had forgotten to pay attention in class.

"Yes, Professor?" She asked, as innocently as she could. She could sense the danger in Sprout's tone and braced herself.

"Have I not told you to pay attention when dealing with a Venomous Tentacula?!" Professor Sprout said in a controlled voice. Tonks turned slowly to see the Tentacula reeling in its tendrils like it had just been scorched. "I'm sorry, Professor," she whispered.

"Detention, tonight, my office!" said Professor Sprout tartly.

* * *

When Herbology was over, Dora hurried to the Great Hall for dinner, double-checking that her miniaturised catapult was safely tucked in her pocket. She was annoyed that she had got a detention, but it would be worth it to see how the other houses reacted to her prank.

"Dora, wait up!" Tonks turned, hastily shoving the contraption back into her pocket.

Hurrying after her up the steps into the castle was her best friend, Alexa Cobb, a Hufflepuff sixth-year like herself. Dora smiled and slowed for her, and they walked into the Great Hall together.

They weren't surprised to see quite a few other students seated in the Great Hall already. Alexa wove her way through the the crowd of students thronging from the classrooms to an empty seat, and beckoned for Tonks to follow. Not being naturally graceful, Dora was followed by a few disgruntled looks as she trod on people's toes as she tried to follow her friend's path.

As soon as Dora sat down, Alexa looked quizzically at her and asked, with one eyebrow raised, "What was that about in Herbology?"

"Are you ever going to tell me why you got a detention with Sprout?"

Tonks replied, "I was just...distracted. That's all!"

Alexa, exasperated, whispered, "I figured that out! You know full well that I was asking why you weren't paying attention! Everyone knows that Tentacula can kill!"

At this Dora giggled, and tapped her nose knowingly, "Ah, you will have to wait and see what I have planned for our dear old Slytherin pals tonight!"

"Honestly, Nymphadora! How many times have I told you? You punish the Slytherins enough for things they haven't done! Can you just cut them some slack?!" Her voice was serious, but Alexa's eyes had a certain sparkle in them that told Tonks that in spite of herself, she was on the verge of smiling. She went on in a low voice, "So, how long do I have to wait to see what you have planned?"

"Hmmm... At least until dessert."

"Well then, we may as well begin eating."

As if on cue, the dinner for that day appeared on the golden plates across the table - lamb stew with boiled potatoes and various greens.

* * *

Dora spent most of dinner allowing Alexa to try to guess what she had planned, and speculating about what Sprout had planned for her in detention.

"Seriously, can you just tell me what you're going to do? I can't take it anymore!" Alexa cried with mock despair. Tonks smirked, as the main course cleared itself away.

"Looks like you won't have to wait much longer. Here's dessert!" She took the catapult from her pocket and set it on the table. Alexa's eyes widened.

"Is that–is that a catapult?!" She asked incredulously, looking at the small device. Dora simply nodded, and cast an invisibility spell on it.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" she whispered, before slowly guiding it to the centre of the Slytherin table."Engorgio!"

With another flick of her wand, the invisibility spell was lifted, and suddenly, the catapult loomed over the Slytherins, who were gazing up at it in shock.

In a flash, Tonks had levitated the nearest pudding onto the bucket of the catapult and magically released the restraining rope. The arm swung forwards, launching a lemon meringue pie directly into the face of a very surprised Marcus Flint, a Slytherin fourth-year.

The catapult, having been cleverly designed to keep reloading and firing once activated, scooped up another dessert and fired treacle tart down the table. Panic began to ensue as all of the Slytherins tried to leap out of the path of the flying cake.

The other houses, having seen what was unfolding, were caught between complete horror and hilarity at the sight before their eyes.

The Slytherins' expressions were hilariously panicked, as the rest of the Great Hall roared with laughter. They were all so distracted by the reactions of the unlucky students, however, that they didn't notice that the catapult was firing desserts at a faster and faster rate.

Dora noticed, and nudged Alexa, who was nearly crying with laughter. "Something's wrong with the catapult! It shouldn't be firing that quickly!" she cried, panic in her voice.

Alexa recovered herself at once and got out her wand, firing charm after charm at the out-of-control machine. These seemed to have no effect, as it began to turn away from the Slytherins, towards the other houses!

"Uh oh..." Tonks murmured, as the catapult began firing at random, hitting students from all houses with a deluge of puddings and pastries! It wreaked havoc in the Great Hall, causing the teachers to draw their wands and fire spells at it in a desperate attempt to stop it, and students to scramble beneath the house tables to get out of the line of fire. Dora and Alexa didn't move quickly enough, and soon found themselves covered in chocolate cheesecake and vanilla ice-cream.

The machine had now begun to emit a high-pitched humming noise, when suddenly, the rope sustaining the arm snapped, causing the arm to fly through the air and land with a crunch in front of the staff table. The hall fell silent as they took in the layer of cake and dessert coating the walls and floor.

Soon, Professor Dumbledore spoke, "Well, I think that dinner is over today. Students will return to their common rooms whilst the teachers assist Mr. Filch and myself in cleaning the Great Hall." All the students began to file out of the room, many of them in need of a good bath.

Tonks returned to the Hufflepuff common room and went to wash the cake off and change into some casual clothing for the evening. When she returned, she found a letter on her bed. She opened it and read:

Dear Miss Tonks,

Please come and see me in my office as soon as possible.

Professor Sprout

Ten minutes later, Dora knocked on the door of her head of house's office and opened it.

"Ah, Miss Tonks. Do sit down." Professor Sprout said, gesturing towards the chair in front of her desk. Tonks sat down, and Sprout continued, "Can I safely assume that you had something to do with the debacle in the Great Hall today?"

Tonks said nothing, but Professor Sprout seemed to know the answer anyway. She gave a great sigh. "Oh Miss Tonks, what are we going to do with you?"


End file.
